


One of These Days

by AttolianLily



Category: The Queen's Thief - Megan Whalen Turner
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Poison, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28594815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AttolianLily/pseuds/AttolianLily
Summary: He can't take it any more.
Relationships: Relius/Teleus (Queen's Thief)
Kudos: 5





	One of These Days

He enters the room slowly, trying not to look around, gaze fixated on the wood-paneled floor. It doesn't work. The memories resurface, one by one, from where he had suppressed them deep inside.

The first time he stepped into this room, he was still intimidated, still scornful of the steward's bastard who listened at keyholes for their queen. Those early years were the hardest, both of them unsure of their feelings or how to reach out, yet trying not to show weakness. Mistrust turned into grudging respect, then into friendship, then something more... until it was all over.

Six months ago - had it only been six? It felt like a lifetime had passed since the war - Pheris had approached him in his own tent, where he was reassigning the members of the dead guards' squads. The king had summoned him. He listened as Eugenides, completely expressionless, explained that the Continent had betrayed them. It wasn't necessary - the entire camp knew of Yorn Fordad's defection and the source of the bomb by then.  
"Yorn Fordad has been reporting to his king, informing him of the war, of our every action. In the capital-" Suddenly, the impassive mask of the king wavered, and he paused before continuing in a voice that Teleus had never heard before. "Relius had shared his travel plans with the ambassador, before he left. There has been no word from him yet - we had been expecting a messenger weeks ago."

His first instinct was refusal. Relius was supposed to be safe, away from the war, headed towards their allies - the Braelings - to make negotiations. "No," he had said flatly, "He isn't-" He was. They both knew it. 

His lover was dead, gone, wasn't coming back. He had to remind himself of it sometimes, because sometimes it would seem so unreal- the Little Peninsula was at peace, everything should be back to normal. It was supposed to be a time of celebration. Except it wasn't. By some cruel trick of the gods, it wasn't. 

His eyes fall on the door that connects to the bedchamber. It is slightly ajar, as if Relius had forgotten to close it the night before. No one has touched it since, he is certain. 

Unwilling to think of the many nights they had shared, his eyes fall instead on a bookshelf near the window. The shelves are neatly sorted, the scrolls and books all arranged flawlessly. He always - had always - insisted on keeping everything secure and orderly, admitting one night that he was afraid of things he had no power over-

One of the lower shelves catches his eye. Between a book of verses and one of a foreign language he does not know how to interpret, there is a small, yet easily noticable empty space. His throat tightens. The poems.

He remembers picking out scrolls from the library, carefully transcripting the words into parchment. The Invitation - it was the one that Relius had liked best, he remembered. Written by an anonymous poet for a lover hundreds of years ago. As I idle through the day, awaiting you. He could await as long as he liked, but it wouldn't change a thing.

He walks over to the small table. Usually cluttered with papers, the table now is bare, a stack neatly pushed to the side. Everything is the same - the scent of old books and dust, the dim light filtering through the windows - and yet so different. So empty. 

He sits on his usual chair, settling on to it gingerly. He tries not to look at the dust- covered chair facing him. He draws the small vial out from the pocket, placing it with a soft click on the wood. 

The contents are deceptively clear, like water or remchik. This poison is not used often - though deadly and quick-stricking, the taste is not easily obscured, the effects too obvious to any local physician. The coleus leaf.

He has seen this poison twice. Once as a young guard on duty at a wedding feast - the baron's son grabbing and drinking from the princess's wine cup - a petty sign of ownership - then choking on it. The second time...

"Kill me now, Teleus. If you love me, please, please, I don't want to - you could, free me. I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't mean to please forgive me it wasn't-"

He can still hear the smashing of the cup, the pathethic begging, his cold, disbelieving voice as he ordered the guards to take him away. Every night, every night since the news, the gods-damned nightmares come.

Don't do this, his mind tells him. The queen and king need you, and their heirs. The guard needs to be sorted out, you can't abandon Attolia like this. It would be selfish. 

But his heart tells him that nothing matters any more, and nothing ever will. Attolia has no need for a broken guard captain. Better to end this now.

Relius would hate him for this. He would hate him, blame him for leaving his country vulnerable, both of the crown's advisors gone so soon after near destruction. He can't hate me anymore, he reminds himself. He's beyond that now.

He picks up the vial, unscrews it, and stares into it. Then he presses it to his lips.

The poison is bitter, and it burns as it passes his throat. 

It is called the coward's leaf in Eddis. A coward's way of leaving the world, unnoble, despicable. It seems quite appropriate, in this case.

He does not pray, or think about life after the living. He thinks of his lover, every single hour together, every fight and every reconciliation, every tender moment.

There are footsteps outside the door, uneven and urgent. He sees a flicker of white cloth in the corner of his eye and turns.

The white is gone, a trick of the light or perhaps an effect of the coleus. Instead, Pheris - Baron Erondites, as he is now- stands in the doorway, his expression shocked and betrayed.

He wonders if that was what he looked like when he came to arrest Relius. 

He is regretful that the boy has to see this, has to bring the news. He has already seen so much death than anyone deserves.

He opens his mouth to speak, and begins to choke.

A week later, a messenger from the Pents rides up to the capital.

**Author's Note:**

> This made me cry while writing! Not very good, but had to share my feelings about my OTP!  
> Yes I am aware this does not happen in canon, they totally get a nice reunion and live happily ever after! Will be writing that soon...
> 
> Tumblr - @secretaryofthefrogs


End file.
